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Daily Joke for: Sun., 5/20/2012
Joke Rating: PG-13 – Parent strongly cautioned. Some material may NOT be appropriate for children under 13.
Joke Subject(s): Potpourri
This joke has so far been rated 1.90
out of 3, by 10
of our users!
Contributed by:
Anon.
Subject: Helpful Hints
Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away!
Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Helpful Hint #9
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.
Rate Today's Joke:
12
users rated Yesterday's Joke
2.17
out of 3. Yesterday's Joke is rated:
PG-13 – Parent strongly cautioned. Some material may NOT be appropriate for children under 13.
Yesterday's Joke subject(s):
Drinking
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